OMG! OMG! OMG!

HE texted me after the employee luncheon! He texted me!!! This is soooo crazy. We are going to meet up tomorrow for lunch. I cannot believe this! He texted that he was sorry!!

I don't know, I just don't know what to think! I feel happy, nervous, excited, fkasjodjfek!!

I want to laugh, I want to cry, I want to...

He texted me!

He texted me!

And I finally got the "I'm sorry" that I wanted to hear from him several months ago. I got my apology :) And now we are going to talk... I wanted this more than anything... just to talk to him.

I don't know what will happen next but I'm happy that there will finally be closure. Maybe this "talk" is what I need to finally move on...

I can't wait for tomorrow!!

My boss at the restaurant is hosting an employee Thanksgiving lunch on Thursday. I DON'T want to go!! Obviously I am dreading it because HE is going to be there. I think the lunch is going to be in our boss's house which makes things that much more uncomfortable. I can't even begin to imagine how uncomfortable that is going to be. How do I get out of it?!?!?!? This is terrible. I'm just going to show up super late so that I only have to be there for the "lunch" part of it and skip the "socializing" part. I don't want to socialize with anyone if HE is going to be in the same room. I know I am being petty and childish but I don't care. I NEED a new job :(

I should be asleep but I can't sleep until I take off my makeup and wash my face... but I can't wash my face because my brother is taking a shower... why the hell is he taking a shower at 3am!!! Ughghghgh!! So I got on the internet and now I'm here typing away, but I'm a bit inebriated so I keep misspelling words BUT I know they are misspelled so I go back and delete and then retype. Oh wow. WTH!

I went to a bar w/ my friend and I got stuck talking to some guy I was not interested in talking to. He asked for my number, I told him no, and then went over to the bar and asked for a vodka tonic. I was hoping this would make the night go by a lot faster... but I cannot do vodka tonics!! What was I thinking?!?!?

I miss HIM :(

Soooooo much!

I'm hungry.

Today was awful!!!! I had such a bad day :(

First, I hit this stupid post in the parking garage of where I work. I scratched a big part of my car and it has a medium size dent on the back door of the passenger's side. It looks bad!

I get to work and the big story is how one of my coworkers and my ex-crush got "married" the day before. So they are now "husband" and "wife".... can I PUKE!!! Obviously, they didn't really get married but they are pretend husband and wife :( I'm jealous.

Then, also at work, there was a party of 40 people and two servers were chosen to serve the party. Who were the two servers chosen?!?!? It was me and my ex-crush!!! :( It was horrible. The first hour he didn't speak to me at all and when I finally HAD to speak to him about something he just ignored me. I felt really bad.

THEN, this lady bumps into me when I was serving a cup of soup and I ended up spilling the soup all over my hand. It huuuurrttt like hell. I totally burned my hand.

It was suuppper busy at the restaurant today and I only made $70! I NEED money!!! I got some crappy tables and the stupid party of 40 only paid $24!! I can make that much from a table of 5 or 6 people.

I got my topical cream today... I paid $190 for it :( I am sooooo broke now. NOW I have a reason to feel sad and depressed, lol. THEN, stupid me bought this lasagna frozen dish type-meal from walmart for $10 and it tasted awful. I threw it away!! I spent $30 on groceries for the week and $10 went to that stupid lasagna crap. I ended up going to Wendy's to buy some food of their value menu, lol. I also bought some beef taquitos... I think that's what they are called... lol... I've never tried them before so I hope I don't have to throw those out too. I don't think this was a good week to try new foods. I may just end up eating sandwiches for the next month.

I had a bunch of things planned for this weekend, Thursday-Sunday, but I will HAVE to cancel on a few things. I can't be going out and spending money anymore. I need to just stay home and away from the computer. Good thing I get my Yoga DVDs sometime this week. I will do yoga instead of online shopping. Tomorrow I work at the restaurant so I don't really have to worry about food. I will just eat a tuna sandwich for lunch or something. Thursday I'm taking my friend out to dinner for his b-day (can't cancel this). Friday I work at the restaurant, so I will just eat there and I will NOT go out.. Saturday I was planning to go to Gloria's with my gfriend. I don't want to cancel on this!! And then Sunday I can eat at work.

Hopefully I will earn good tips this week and the stupid Cowboys better not ruin our Sunday at work!! Is football season almost over!

I'm feeling a whole lot better today. I don't know what my problem was yesterday. It's 9pm and after I finish this post I'm going to clean my room and work out. I think today I'm going to focus on toning exercises. Tomorrow I will go to Zumba class and then go grocery shopping and do laundry when I get home. I ordered a Yoga DVD and a stretching DVD from amazon.com. I hope I get them soon! I also bought some yoga gloves so I don't slide all over the place during some of the poses. I have really sweaty palms and I'm always sliding. I hope the gloves work.

I went to the dermatologist again today and had an acne peel done. I also convinced my derma to write me a prescription for Duac. This one is not as expensive as Tazorac or Epiduo but it still has really good reviews. I'm really hoping that this topical cream, in combination with the birth control pills, the green tea, and this african black soap that I bought online clear my skin. I also bought some unrefined shea butter but I'm hesitant to use it on my face. I'm scared it's too greasy and it will break me out!!

OMG!!!! hahhahhahahahhaha.... my brother is hilarious!!! As I was typing this entry I heard my brother yell, "WHO WANTS TO PARTY... YEAHHHH!!!" Oh my gosh... I'm cracking up!!!

Ok... I need to breath. Whooo...

Anyways... yeah, as I was saying, I hope my new acne regime works out. I just want to have clear skin so that my derma can begin treating my acne scars.

Speaking of acne scar treatments... I am sooo bad. I deposited a little over $700 last week and my bank account is down to a little under $200. I seriously have a problem. I could have worked today but I had the dermatologist appointment so I lost a bit of extra money :( Then yesterday the restaurant was really slow. I only made $40 :( Stupid Cowboys!!!! I hate football!!!

On Thursday I'm having dinner with my best guy friend and my best girl friend!! I love them both!! Then, on the weekend my friend and I will be "stalking" a guy she has a crush on from work, lol. Ok, that sounds terrible. Maybe "stalking" isn't the right word, hah. We will just go to a certain bar until we "bump" into him... yeah, that sounds a whole lot better.

I think the stupid oral contraceptive is making me very emotional and tired. Today I did not wake up until 2PM and I woke up in a really bad mood. First of all I NEVER wake up that late. I did go out the night before but even when I get home after 3am, I still wake up by 10am at the latest. Then at work, I was in a bad mood all day and I felt soooo sad. Even now I feel sad... but I have no reason to feel sad. I should be very happy!

I reunited with my old best friend, we had a supper fun weekend (SUPER fun), I'm having dinner with a friend that I haven't been able to hang out with in a long time, my tips at the restaurant were great last week, the holidays are coming up... what the hell is my problem!?!?!? Why am I so sad????

I don't get it.

And... I still miss HIM :( I am such an idiot. I will never get over him!

I just got done doing a Bollywood video and then followed it with 30 minutes of yoga! Exercise is such a stress reliever!!  After graduating college and not being able to work I spent 8 months at home doing nothing. Eventually I started doing Yoga and it felt soooo good. For those of you who feel like you spend your days doing nothing because you can't work, drive, go to school, etc. TRY YOGA. 

Zumba is a lot of fun too. I go to group classes for Zumba and Yoga but I also enjoy doing it at home by following a DVD. 

Right now I'm really into health and fitness. I'm working out at least 4 days a week and I'm trying to improve my eating habits. I'm drinking a lot of green tea too. I'm not a fan of green tea but I am a fan of all of it's health benefits, lol, so I drink it. My favorite tea is Lotus! I love Lotus tea. I should start taking vitamins too. 

Today I went to the gynecologist and then had an appointment with my dermatologist. Both visits were because of my acne issues :(  Have I mentioned that I HATE acne, lol. I spend soooo much money on my skin and it looks horrible.  The gynecologist put me on an oral contraceptive and my derma. is going to continue with the acne peels plus I'm going to ask him for a prescription for a topical cream next week at my follow up appt. The oral contraceptive is going to cost 80something a month, the peels are $200, and the topical cream... I'm not sure yet. Depends on what he gives me. I want to try Epiduo or Tazorac. I hope this combination works for me!

My friend is celebrating his birthday this Friday but I have to work :(  I want to ask for the day off but because of my skin treatments/products I can't afford to take the day off. I hope he doesn't get upset with me. 

I had the most random week ever, lol. On Tuesday my co-worker and I had lunch with the guy we met at the strip club last month. The guy has a HUGE crush on my co-worker. It's too cute! The guy has a really interesting life story. He was born in Puerto Rico, came here at the age of 15 and attended Julliard in New York (he plays the violin), he moved to TX because his family lives here and now he wants to go to medical school so he dances at the strip club to pay for his tuition. Lunch was good and the conversation was good. 

On Friday, my co-worker and I went out to eat after work. We ate at this seafood place that has the strongest mango flavored margaritas EVER!! I couldn't even finish one! After dinner we went back to her place and then out of nowhere she's like, "let's go to La Bare". Sooo.... we ended up back at the strip club where I officially have a favorite dancer, lol. We stayed for about an hour and then we left.  Although I felt totally out of place because of what I was wearing. All the girls were dressed super cute with their sexy dresses and heels... I looked like a nun... I was wearing jeans, a plain long sleeved t-shirt, FLATS, and my hair was in pigtails!!!! Who goes to the strip club with pigtails!!!! How embarrassing :(

Saturday work was extremely busy. I was soooo tired by the end of the night and I could not wait to get home and pass out on my nice comfy bed. As I was driving home my phone rings.... I answer and on the phone are my two best friends from childhood, Maria and Ricky. I have not seen or spoken to them in FIVE years!!! We met in elementary school and were very close until high school. After high school we all just went our separate ways and eventually lost contact with each other. 

So, I got home, jumped in the shower and met up with my old best friends!! We made a beer and taco run (mexican tacos, lol) and then went bar-hopping until 2am. The night ended with two guys asking for my friends number at the same time... one was on the left side of her car the other was on the right... HILARIOUS!!!!!!!! It was soooo amazing to see my friends again. Maria and I will definitely be doing a girls-night-out to talk about all the guy drama we have bee involved in over the last five years! Can't wait!

Now... I have to get ready for work :(   Last night I made $107!! I hope tonight is good again but at the same time I'm super tired. I will not be upset if it's a bit slow. 

 I don't think I should have written the journal entry I posted yesterday.

The no shopping thing is NOT going to happen. I made plans today to go to the CCO (cosmetics company outlet) with one of my co-workers tomorrow. The CCO is not very close to where we live so since we are making the drive all the way there, we MUST buy many, many things, lol.

Then... I think I wrote something about my ex-crush and I getting over our silly/petty behavior. Apparently that is not the case. He did things today that... well... let's just say that he DEFINITELY hates me. I don't get it :(  I wish I could hate him too but I can't...

 I totally forgot to blog about this but last week I realized I had been driving around with an expired inspection sticker for nearly a month! OMG!! I am so LUCKY I did not get pulled over by a cop... beyond lucky!! 

***
The Halloween party was fun. I saw some old friends from college and met some new people. I danced with some guy from Ecuador who had the cutest accent, lol. I love the Spanish that is spoken by Ecuadorians... so cute. He wasn't very attractive but the guy could DANCE... OMG!!! He was such a good dancer. The fact that he could move so well just made him sexy, lol. Me on the other hand... not a good dancer at all. 

***
Work at the restaurant today was pretty good. Sometimes working in a restaurant is not such a bad thing. I like when it's drama free and everyone is getting along. Today we were all having a good time, teasing each other and making jokes... good times. I know I complain a lot but I really am lucky to have the jobs that I have. I work in a nice office and a really nice restaurant. Things could be a lot worse considering my situation. 

I will be working five days this week at the restaurant so I will not have a lot of time to do much else. I'm happy that I will be working on Saturday because that means I will not go shopping! I seriously have a shopping obsession. I cannot go ONE week without buying something. I don't even have room in my closet for more clothes or shoes yet I keep buying more.  Speaking of shopping... since I am working two extra days I can buy one of those pocket camcorders I have been eyeing for some time now!! Woo-hooo! This will be a good purchase since it is not beauty/fashion related. 

I finished my mermaid costume and "look"... this should be the final look, unless I decide to change something in the next few hours, lol.




I think my dress came out adorable. I'm soooo happy I saw those flowers at Michael's. It was kind of a pain having to glue each little flower to the dress but in the end I think it was worth it.

Tomorrow I will work all day and then have to rush home to get ready. Hopefully I won't get to the the party when it's over, lol. 

***

Ohhhh!!! and I had to tell another lie at work (law firm) but now I have a job until next year!!! Woooo-hooooo!!! Because I told my boss I "graduate" in December when I first started working there I thought I was going to have to quit in December but thankfully I will be able to stay for a few more months. That is such a relief!!! I'm super happy about that.

***
Nothing exciting has been going on... just the usual. I'm still crushing on the boy from work but now I think we both have moved on from our petty and silly behavior. We don't go out of our way to try to avoid each other and we just focus on work. I still think about him all the time but I think I have accepted the fact that it is over... oh well. I'm used to being single... and it is a lot less complicated than dating, that's for sure. I do what I want, when I want and never have to worry about anyone else... I just worry about me. 

Oh, lol, I think my co-worker and I might be going to lunch with one of the dancers from the strip club we went to last month. That is just too funny, lol!! I think the stripper guy has a crush on my friend and he wants to go out with her and she of course is dragging me and another friend along.

***
Ohhh... and I got yelled and bitched at by one of our clients at the law firm! He thinks we lost a letter he SUPPOSEDLY mailed to our office and when I tried to explain to him that we never received the letter he totally went off on me. It was horrible :(  Thankfully the ugly exchange happened over the phone. It would have been even worse if he had been in my face screaming his head off. Why are some ppl. so mean? I would NEVER talk to anyone the way he was talking to me. I kind of feel sorry for his wife... he is helping her get her green card but I don't think it would be fun being married to a man like him. His wife is now in MX because she had to go back to adjust her status but she left waaayyyy before she had to. Her paperwork is still at the National Visa Center and we told her she could stay in the US until they scheduled her interview in Juarez but she left like 2.5 months ago. I didn't get why she would do something like that but I totally get it now. Her husband is an ass****.

While shopping for my halloween costume goodies some random guy asked me for money so he could put gas in his car " to go to the hospital".... YEAH RIGHT!! When he asked me he was talking on his freakin' cell phone. Sooo.... he has money to buy and pay for a cell phone but not enough money to put gas in his car... AND he has money to own a car! WTF!! I hate ppl. that just stand outside stores asking for money. I work for every dollar I earn and it pisses me off that ppl. with so many opportunities just stoop to asking ppl for money. It is sooo annoying. If I can work and earn money in this country so can you... you, who were born here and have the "awesome" 10 digit number Ughgh... whatever.

I changed my halloween costume idea. I decided I want to be a mermaid for halloween. I played around with the idea and this is what I came up with. Isn't it cute!?!?!? I love it... this is my rough draft, lol. I'm going to add some bling-bling to my face and use a cosmetic sponge to create the effect of scales on my face.

I got rear-ended at a red light today!  I left job #1 about 15 minutes early and I was soooo happy because I was going to haven an extra 15 minutes to do my makeup before having to go to job #2. I was actually thinking about what eyeshadow I should use when BANG... It was so scary. I have never been in a car accident when I'm in the car by myself. I have been involved in two car accidents, but both times I was with another person and I was never the driver. This time I was the driver and I was all alone... so scary!! I did not know what to do!!! The first thing that ran through my head was, "I don't want to call the cops."  I called my dad and he just told me to get the guys insurance info. 

The guy that hit me was very nice and apologetic. He was young, probably in his mid twenties, like me. He gave me his insurance card, I jotted down the info. and then drove home and got ready for job #2. The whole thing took like 10 minutes. My car seems fine... it just has a scratch and dent on the back, nothing major. 

I did nothing wrong but my heart definitely started racing when it first happened. I was terrified!! My hands were shaking but I didn't cry... does that mean I'm actually growing up, lol! No tears on my side is HUGE!! 

***

Job #2 (restaurant) was pretty good. I made $83 today, $70 something on Monday and $70 something on Wednesday. I hope Sunday I make at least $50. Sometimes, what I make in one week at the restaurant, I make in 2 weeks at the law firm! But then again, sometimes I work at the restaurant and only take home $20-30ish. This does not happen too often but when it does, it SUCKS!!  November and December are busy times for the restaurant business and this is excellent for us servers. I will definitely get tired but the $$ will be good. 

***

The brother of one of the guys that works at the restaurant went there today only because he wanted to meet me! That is sooooo flattering :)  The guy asked for my phone number but I said no. I'm not in the mood to date or even get to know a new guy. Why is it that every time a new guy tries to talk to me all I can think of is the guy from my earlier posts :(    I should be happy that guys show an interest in me but their attention just makes me sad because for some reason I always want the person I cannot have. If I wanted, I could have a boyfriend... probably a guy that would treat me like a princess... but I don't want any of the guys that are interested in me. Instead I want the one guy that can't even stand to look at me :(   I wonder when I will finally move on?

Uggh.. and my skin is looking worse and worse every day :(   I don't get it!!!!! I need Accutane sooooooooooo bad!  I need to find a way to pay for this acne treatment. I cannot stand to look at my skin any longer. STUPID acne! Why won't it go away... to be honest I don't even get why guys are even interested in me.... my skin looks like crap. I don't think I would be interested in myself  :(  I know this sounds horrible but it's true. 

 WOW!

I had sooo much fun last night! I went to La Bare (male strip club) with a bunch of girls and OMG!!!!!! I never understood why guys like going to strip clubs but I think I get it now, lol. After my experience from last night, I have now decided that my next boyfriend NEEDS to have rock-hard abs. A super toned body is just a must. My friends and I got some free passes to go next week but I lost mine :(  How could I have done that, lol!!!  
I was worried about the ID issue but thankfully it was all good... 

I think male dancers have it pretty good... they make good money, have the attention of lots and lots of girls (many of them VERY pretty), and they basically get paid to stay in good shape. Not so bad if you ask me. Female dancers definitely have it worse... I don't know why but I was thinking about this today.

Hmm...

Ughgh... I have work tomorrow so I should go to sleep but I'm not sleepy. I'm actually hungry... lately I have been eating a lot very late into the night.

Life has been busy lately. Remember how I was complaining about work at the law firm being slow, well that was a bad idea. I am swamped with work now.

I actually just finished a Waiver Packet for this guy who has to go back to MX to adjust his status (he married a US citizen and entered without inspection) and it was A LOT of work but it felt good to finish it. This guy came when he was pretty young (16 or 17 I think)  and he married his high school sweetheart... AWWWWWWW!!!!! Unfortunately their first born son is very sick right now, which sucks but it does give the guy a strong waiver. I was crying (YES CRYING) when I was copying his waiver packet. See... I'm a total cry-baby. I wasn't crying because I was feeling bad for myself though. I was crying because I really hope they let this guy come back. Plus, I have a soft spot for this case because I saw this case from the beginning stage (initial filing of the I-130) to his interview being scheduled in Ciudad Juarez. I worked on every aspect of his case, sooo... this is my "baby", hah. 

I also joined a gym so I've been going to group classes all week. This kickboxing class totally kicked by ass on Tuesday, lol. OMG! I am sooo sore right now. Next week I'm going to try indoor cycling. This looks like a lot of fun.

I also bought the yarn to start my first knitting project. I got the basics down, so I think I am ready to knit my first scarf. Woo-hoooo!!

Umm... oh, yeah, I got a response from two of the places I wanted to volunteer at... I am referring to the response I got from the e-mails I sent asking if a SSN and/or driver's license # was necessary.

I will copy and paste the responses I got:

Response #1

Yesterday was the most painful day ever!!! I went to see my dermatologist and he suggested that we try a stronger peel before moving on to the laser treatments and O-M-G!  I cried :(  Soooooooooo painful. It felt like my face was on fire. Today my skin is RED and it looks totally burned. I know a peel is supposed to make your face look like this for the first few days but it SUCKS!  Thankfully I'm an EXPERT at hiding awful things on my face with makeup so I covered it up really well. This girl at work even told me I looked pretty today. WTF! LOL!!! My skin is literally burned and I got a "you look pretty" compliment. The girl that said this, said it right when my "ex-crush" walked up to where we were standing so he heard, lol. I'm sure he didn't give a crap but I'm glad he heard. And.... this guy that started working at the restaurant last week was totally flirting with me today. It's so weird how I felt sooooo unattractive today... scary looking even... yet I got a nice compliment and I even attracted a new guy. 

The guy seems nice but I'm not even going there. I will never again date someone I work with. Plus... as much as I hate to admit it, I'm still hung-up on the other guy :(  This new guy is a lot cuter but the other one still has my heart. It has been so long since the other guy was even in my life that I SHOULD be over it but I'm not. 

LOL!!! New guy just sent me a text... hold on....

Ok. I'm back. Yes... I gave him my phone number but that is only because on Saturday, this girl from work and I made plans to go out (FOR SUSHI!!!) and we decided to invite this new guy because he just moved to TX and doesn't have a lot of friends here. 

I was not expecting a text from him tonight. 

:(

Is it bad that all I can think of is the guy from my old posts :(   Ughghghghghghghghg!!!!!!!  I'm remembering how after our second date, he dropped me off at home and then texted me... and we texted back and forth for like an hour :(       I MISS HIM    

Whatever...

I NEED to move on....

***

Today, work was veeerrryyyy slow so when I got a table of six I thought, "YES... table of six... good tip (maybe $20)."  I was soooo wrong!!! They only ended up eating $66 and then ONLY tipped me $10 (on credit card)!!!! WTF :(    They were my ONLY table so the service was GREAT!  I got a table of TWO after they left... this table ate $43 and tipped me $10 (cash). Working as a server has made me learn the importance of tipping well. So if you are reading this ALWAYS tip your sever well... unless he/she is rude and the service is terrible. 

I don't even know how much I made tonight. Let me check. Ouch... $35!!! Not good!!! Basically, it comes out to $7hr....  

 OMG! I'm soooo tired!  I just got home from a looonnng day of work. The restaurant was very busy tonight & I finally have lots of things to work  on at the law firm. I'm happy the week is over and I FINALLY have a Saturday off. I haven't had a free Saturday for nearly two months! Starting tomorrow I will go back to having Saturdays to myself, although I have to work Sunday's now but whatever. 

My knitting is going well, lol. I'll have more time to practice tomorrow and a bit of time on Sunday. 

After writing that my skin better stay clear for Halloween I had a HUGE breakout... go figure!! My skin looks awful and I hate it :(   I was going to start saving to buy a car because I don't like the one I drive right now but I think the money I save I'm going to use for an Accutane treatment.  It sucks that the money I could spend on a car, I will instead be spending on my skin. I wish I had good skin!! I have already spent a little over $2,000 on my skin in the past 5 months and it still looks a mess. Now I have two options. Do nothing now and save a couple thousand and start an Accutane treatment early next year or try laser treatments, which cost $400 per treatment and see if those work. I want to go with the first option but I can't imagine not doing anything for the next few months. With my current treatments my skin looks terrible but without treatments my skin looks horrendous. Ughghghgh!!! I don't know. Maybe I should just try a laser treatment or two.... I don't know... I don't know...

Speaking of saving, I really should cut down on my spending. I buy too many beauty related products. In the past week I ordered a curling iron for $80 and also spent $50 on boots... then I went shopping and spent another $70 on clothes... then I had to buy foundation. Plus, tomorrow I have to go to walmart and stock up on toiletries and other necessities... and not to mention I have a dermatologist appointment next week and a hair cut appointment... plus I have to pay for the TV I bought.. OMG!! I should not have bought that curling iron :(   
It's sorta funny, I went with my brother to see the doctor this morning and the doctor said to me, "Who are you?" I responded with, "I'm his sister." Then the Dr. said, "Are you sure? Why are you so tiny!" My brother is now 6'3 and growing (he is 16 years old)!!! I'm only 5'2... sooo short :(  

The Grey's Anatomy premier was good! The show that aired before it... ummm... Flashforward... was pretty good too. Woo--hooo for Thursday nights!! I'm sooo happy I don't have to work!

i think I'm going to bed now...

I'm too tired to stay up late tonight.

Today was my day off from work and I spent it KNITTING (LOL) and reading a ton of Dreamer blogs, this among my other rather mundane daily activities. How exciting is my life, huh? The day was very gloomy and rainy, so staying in just seemed like a good thing to do.

My knitting was... a disaster. I spent 2.5 hrs. doing this (pic. below). I'm almost embarrassed to admit that! For some reason I just can't get the hang of it, but I will keep trying. Everything is difficult the first time you try it and considering I had never picked up a pair of yarn needles in my life before today, maybe I didn't do too bad.

Football sucks!!! Everyone stays home and the restaurants are empty :(  My friends wanted to go out tonight but I had to decline because of work and stupid work was soooooo slow!!! The entire night (5hrs) I only had 4 tables!! Thankfully I was able to make $42 . I got lucky with my four lonely tables, lol. 

This girl from work wants to have a halloween party so I started thinking about what I would like to dress up as for halloween. I think I want to do a 1940s inspired pin up look. I played around with the idea when I got home and I think I came up with a really cool look. I got the hair and makeup down, I just need to think of an outfit and accessories. Ummm... in the 1940's, pearls were very "in" right?? I need to look that up. If anybody reading this is on twitter send me a message and I will tell you my twitter account so you can see a pic. I'm soooo excited about it. I think I might do a tutorial on youtube. Why do I get so excited about these things?!?!?

My stupid skin better be clear for halloween if not it will ruin the entire look. If my skin is awful I will have to change my "1940s pin up look" to a "dead" (not so cute) look... sooo... skin stay clear!!!

OMG!! I bought this necklace online and it it gorgeous!!!!! I got it in the mail on Wednesday and I just about passed out when I saw it. So freaking cute!

Umm... at work today, my ex-crush, accidently started to serve one of my tables. He got confused and thought it was his table and so he took the drink order for my customers. When the boss told him it was my table he looked so shy and cute :(   We have not spoken to each other in over 2 months even though we have to work together so I kinda, sorta, thought this might be a good opportunity to finally say something to him, since I needed to know what my customers ordered so I could charge them for it, sooo.... I went to ask him and he totally ignored me... :(  WTF!!  I think he hates me or something... I don't get it. I didn't do anything bad to him. I'm the one that got screwed by him, not the other way around. Why does he act like that? I just don't get it. The bussboys at work ask me all the time why we don't talk to each other anymore. They say that a few months back he would always get mad when they (the bussboys) talked about me and he overheard. He would apparently tell them to stop talking about me... AND one of them also told me that the other day, they (my ex-crush and the bussboy) were out smoking a cigarette and the bussboy asked him if he liked me and my ex-crush apparently said, "no, no good".  WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I cannot believe he said that. Guys are assholes... seriously...

I'm so not going to stress over him anymore. I never did anything to him so... whatever... I guess I can't change what he says/does so... I just need to move on and forget he was ever a part of my life.

I need to stop letting people get so close to me... I trust people too easily.